Drabble – Awkwardness

It’s a big room, this one we’re sharing right now, but somehow it feels so small, so small the space between you and me…hmm ‘you and me’ I can’t even think of ‘us’ anymore…

The panorama is great…how can a room with such a beautiful view give me the chills? It’s all because you’re near me, at my reach. If I only had the courage to lift my head and turn around, take your hand and make things right again, make them right… 

He’s not lifting his head either, and I don’t have the strength anymore, I simply don’t have it in me anymore. Could it be that he feels the same? That his body refuses to move, his eyes refuse to stare into mine, or is he afraid of what he might risk if doing that?  

This silence, he never was this quite, even if he didn’t talk to me, I could feel and hear him only looking at him, but now, I feel like I’ve lost that connection, like I don’t speak the same language as him anymore…could this be the end?

For some, love fades, giving no explanation whatsoever, it fades slowly or suddenly, but it’s lost in the end no matter how long the process.
If you saw them now, you would say they have never even met, never talked, never laughed and cried together; simply two strangers waiting in a room with big windows, neither admiring the beautiful view, both staring blankly at the floor. Two handsome men both dressed in dark blue suits, one blondish smaller guy and one taller brown haired guy, two strangers and nothing more.
In one of the rays of sunshine entering the room you could see something glitter while falling, and if you listen closely you could hear the sound of fingers tightening into fists, but more than that, if you really listen you could hear one last cry, two tiny fading voices inside their hearts, struggling to embrace each other once more, one final struggle.

I’m supposed to be at guitar camp no? Well I am ^______^ but we’re working like around the clock…

The first day, I had courses from 10 am to 7 pm with two breaks about 15 min each, skipped lunch cause I stayed behind with another guy and our teacher to practice some stuff ><
I can’t take long for the break cause I’m supposed to write/imagine a phrase (musical phrase) based on some chords and scales we’ve practiced and also learn to play it ok till cause I’m going to play it to my teacher in 3 hours.

The general feeling…well it’s an Contemporary Arts camp so we have violins, piano, chamber musicians, dancers, theater, percution (which my friend is attending), composition and finally jazz, which I’m attending. So talking about the general feeling…it’s strange as hell…it’s been two days since we’ve started practicing and all but it feels like a strange world all together to me. Let me explain it differently…it’s a world I left long ago, almost 8 years ago to be exact, when I left the choir…and this world it’s taking it’s time accepting me back, or so I feel. I knew the guys I’m going to be with are professionals and this is what they do, what they study, and since guitar it’s just a hobby for me and I’ve learned it on my own and on the internet it was obvious that I’m way behind on technique, but also on music theory…so this is what I’m doing, taking it step by step (lucky my teacher’s GREAT) and trying to accumulate as much as I can, as little as that may be in the end.

The guys in my Jazz class…well they’re all guys to start at, except one girl that comes and goes since she is vocal but also playing violin…so most of the times is just me and the guys…and they are not friendly at all…the best guitar player is actually a little cocky >< and I hate that they make me feel bad about not knowing stuff…

Yesterday there were 4 times I was on the verge of going back to my room, packing my suitcase and leave for home…I resisted that cause I want to learn and I decided no matter the surroundings I’m going to focus on learning. 

Hope you guys are all super duper oki.

I miss u all so much <3 

Oki I’m going back to memorize the notes and chords ><

b-bye <3<3<3 muahh

You guys are wonderful and I really wonder what I did ok to deserve you.

Well, the past couple of weeks I didn’t even went online, not on lj, not on YM, I was only working on my grad paper…that’s finally over, as it was, but it’s over and I can breathe easy now that the exam has passed.
I think during my forced hiatus I only wrote one one-shot and some scattered ideas here and there. I miss writing, I really miss it…I hope I’ll have time to write more at least this summer…that stands as the last pole of freedom if I am to think about it.

So…this last week I’ve been slowly trying to get back on track with all of the things I have missed while on hiatus, and I think I only managed somewhere at half maybe ><
The funny thing is, I’m back from my study-hiatus and now I’m going on a fun-hiatus or so I hope at least ^____^
Yep, as is the main reason for this post…to let you guys know I’m going to be away for two weeks, at Guitar camp! Most probably I won’t have internet access…well there’s only one WiFi at one hotel in the area I’m staying (cause we’re staying like 10 km away from Sibiu ~ which is my all time fave city in Romania ^^); so yeah, it may be a little tricky having internet access if I won’t go to Sibiu…but I’ll try and find an internet caffe…

Anyway, I’m excited about this event and I admit I’m also a bit scared not to make a fool of myself…well cause the program is designed for the ones that go or went to music schools and I didn’t…what I know up till now I’ve learned on my own so I think I’m down 2 or 3 or maybe even more levels than the other persons attending. On the other hand, there are going to be famous guitar players that are supposed to be our teachers and I’m really looking forward to “stealing” some secrets ^__~  and also I’ve always loved the atmosphere…just imagine the mountain, a camp fire, guitars and handsome guys ^__________^ scratch that last part hehe I don’t want Yunho to hear~ it will be our little secret oki ^.~ but yeah, I can’t wait!

I’m leaving tomorrow morning I guess (that if the plan doesn’t change again >< cause I’m going with a very undecided friend with her car grrrr), and I’ll be back on the 9^th of august, so in two weeks. Oh God, I think I never had so much luggage! I have one full suitcase, one backpack (with my camera and Yunnie~ my laptop) and the guitar >< I think I’m going to break my back if I have to climb a lot of stairs at the place we’re staying at…
I’m going to miss you guys a lot! But I’ll be back with new strength and eager to read all the wonderful entries I’m going to miss and chat with you guys ^____^

Till then take care and have some summer fun too (it goes by in a heartbeat so might as well enjoy it)! Love you!

*hugs and kisses for you all*

Bambi-chan <3

p.s: message to Jae~ please take care of Yun while I’m away ne? hihi

bambi awaaaaayyyy~ 

a/n: This is for you Pebbles! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BB!!!
I really hope you like this! It’s not much really but I’ll do my best to make it up to you!!!
Love you! And never stop being who you are!
*sends thousand of kisses* <3<3<3

reya13 , my little sis! It's really not much, but i want it to give you hope and cheer you up! i'm here for you always tomodachi, remember that! *bambi kisses*

( puffy eyes )

Title: Can't be in love on your own
Length: Drabble
Author: Andra
Rating: G
Pairing: Yoosu
Genre: fluff
Summary: You're in love with each other. It takes two.
a/n: for Susi <3

( you and me )